Are we in a gay sports bar?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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