He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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