That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
