she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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