Got a toothbrush?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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