My first STD was from a foam party
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
