I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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