She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
