we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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