I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
