So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
