so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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