id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
