yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
