I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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