Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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