He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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