i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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