His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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