I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
