Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
