Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
