so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
