they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
