But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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