YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
