dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
