Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
