you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
