i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
