My balls are so social today.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
