its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So many bounce houses so little time
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
