I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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