there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
