I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
