the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
