You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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