My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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