is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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