You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
