she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
