ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
