i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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