I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He? As in you personified your dick?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
