so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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