we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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