no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
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