At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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