if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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