what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
